Guys... got a girl in your life - mother, girlfriend, sister, wife - who has a birthday coming up and don't know what to get? I suggest earrings.
Got a significant other in your life who won't be happy if you go bowling with your guy friends on your anniversary again? Appease her with earrings.
Girls... been wanting to buy something to reward yourself for your ten pound weight loss? I suggest earrings.
Point two (0.2) pound weight loss? I suggest earrings.
Have you recently been convinced by Betty Beguiles to dress in a prettier, more feminine manner befitting your feminine femininity? I suggest earrings.
Are you a drag queen who wants to dress in a prettier, more feminine manner befitting your feminine masculinity? I suggest earrings.
Is this post completely ironic coming from the last lady in the universe2 with ears that have never once been pierced? Yes! But go buy some earrings anyway.
Seriously, Brittany is awesome at that whole artistic thing. She makes good earrings, and I encourage you all to go check it out.
2. Ok, second-to-the-last, Gayle.